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How Long?

Dear women,

I'm going to talk about something that's so uncomfortable for us. Something we never want to hear, and because, we don't want to hear it, our own kind deceive us with untruth "support".
My ladies, how long are you going to force love? How long are you going to behave like his wife when you aren't? How long are you going to make excuses for him? How long are you going to justify his bad treatment? How long do you plan on staying in that situationship for the sake of the children? How long?
Ladies, forcing love onto him and behaving like his wife will NOT make him marry you or love you. Allowing yourself to fall pregnant and have his children will NOT change his decisions over you, it will NOT guarantee you nothing!
Bafazi, trust me on this one. A guy KNOWS who he is taking home. No, HE KNOWS! You can sex him up all you want, do them freaky stuff on him (there's a reason why I'm not saying with him), you can even be best friends with his Best-Friend or his mother and or sisters and or any of his family members, if in HIS head (not his heart) you ain't what he wants to take home, my sister, you'll slave yourself into depression. Get out! Leave him!
I have seen my own kind force love onto men it breaks my heart. It's clear, there's a high level of desperation for marriage. Wanting to wear that ring has taken priority so much so, many have lost themselves in the process to get him to love and marry you. Mara, WHY? Why, Bafazi?
Basadi, That vat en sit situation hasn't brought you any happiness. What are you still doing there? Do y'all really wanna tell me you can't live this life without these men? These men who don't love you? (maybe they once did---> I will give you that) kodwa ke, why have y'all sold yourselves so short?
Some might say, "Madam Chair, you don't understand. It's complicated. But, I love him. This this and that that." Love was NEVER created to be one sided. Love was never created to be coerced. It was never created to bring depression, self loathe or desperation. Love ought to be beautiful. Love brings color to our lives, it's that unexplainable something that makes you blush for no reason, that moment when your heart gives unwarranted skips at the sound of his name, that something that makes your knees wobbly, that untamable feeling of overflow over someone. If that has ended, my dearest women, RESPECT YOURSELF ENOUGH AND GET OUT.
I've learned to respect myself ENOUGH so much so, that I would pack my love, loyalty and more love up, cry so hard if I have to, eat lots of ice cream and get fat if needs be, as long as I'm out. I know I'll get over the circumstance. (But, that's just me!)
I've seen women slave themselves in ways that I can't explain, the things women are capable of doing for "love" makes me to believe many women don't actually love themselves enough. Men don't go overboard unless that lady is special. Women, understand that love ONLY happens once in a lifetime for most men. Most of you are simply DECISIONS. It's HARDLY about the heart with men, because, men are VIRTUAL creatures. Women can fall in-love with a voice, but not necessarily men. Albeit, what gives women that special attachment to men is when men find an EMOTIONAL connection and attachment to a woman. When a man is able and comfortable enough to be EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE to a woman, that woman must know she has been found. Most men can't explain love to anyone, look at the history of mankind in general, IT TAKES A MAN EVERYTHING TO OPENLY ADMIT THEY LOVE SOMEONE. Albeit, don't be fooled, they can do things that makes you believe they love you all for the sake of the cookie.
Vhomakadzi, Children do not guarantee happiness and marriage. Neither does marriage guarantee happiness and fulfillment. Can most of you stop staying in relationships for the sake of the children? Children are like sponges, they absorb energies, auras, tensions etc do not think kids do not know. In fact, children know more then they let on. Most of you are raising children that will grow to resend you. Be careful!
Bottom line: Ladies, can many of you beautiful beings kindly stop forcing your deserving love onto undeserving men? Maybe, just maybe, ITS TIME TO GO. Maybe, something better awaits you. Surely, you CAN exist without the one that makes you cry every night.
PS: I've drank water, minded my own business but y'all are still crying yourselves to sleep... It's TIME to move on.
Madam Chair

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